What were the first few days, weeks, months and then years like after finding out about your spouses infidelity? How did your feelings, and yours & their approach to the situation change in the immediate aftermath compared to later down the line?

If it hasn’t happened to you, the pain is indescribable. My wife and I were married at 23. I was the only man she had ever been with. Two daughters later at the age of 30 is when it happened. This woman was always the model of a lady, stunningly gorgeous and the type woman all men want. She had been complaining about being overworked, bored and tired all the time. I always did everything I could to make her happy. I made a hell of a living, I’m extremely handsome (so I’ve been told) and she always said she was extremely satisfied in the bedroom (I always made sure of that). I thought our marriage was picture perfect. One night when I was out of town, her friends invited her to a bachelorette party. She told me she was going, and because I trusted her, I thought no big deal. Well, after getting very drunk they all had some male strippers come over to the Hotel room they rented. The Bride (who’s her old sorority sister and what I thought was a very good girl) gave one of the strippers a blow job. One of the girls videoed it and it got back to the Groom and that marriage never happened (but that’s another story). So several of the women there ended up giving the strippers blow jobs and several (my wife included) were holding out. Then the others started making fun of them. My wife (to her credit) continued to hold out and she was one of the few that night that did nothing (all good so far, right). Well when news got back to all the husbands and boyfriends the shit hit the fan (too much to go into detail here… let’s just say several break ups, revenge cheating and divorces). My wife was one of three who had no sexual contact with any men that night, but she did sit on the lap of a naked guy who had a penis that was over 8” long. When I saw this picture a month later I was furious. I have a very small penis and my wife knows I’m super sensitive and insecure about it. When I confronted her she blew it off and said “hey it was just girls having fun and I didn’t touch his penis”. I thought to myself… I’ll be reasonable and try and see it from her perspective, knowing that could have been me at a bachelor party, so I let it slide. The problem arose soon after when she started getting jealous of the attention her other friends were getting. A few weeks later she started acting odd. I sensed something was up but couldn’t put my finger on it. Come to find out she had given that naked stripper her business card (she’s a dog groomer) and he ended up bringing his dog to her. Well, you can guess where this led. I found out that she went to his place to groom his dog and he ended up going down on her. The first time she stopped it at just that. Soon after they ended up having sex. It was only one time. She was so distraught and upset that a week later she came home bawling and hyperventilating so bad that she could barely talk. I knew instantly what she’d done. My heart sank and I felt soulless as she went into detail about how she ended up there. As I sat there stunned and numb, the quieter I was the more enraged and hurt she became. I asked her “why? What the fuck were you thinking?” And she said she just wanted some “Danger and intrigue” in her life and I said well you just broke up our family. She screamed and wailed like she had been hit with a hot branding iron as she got on her knees and begged me to forgive her. I told her “you will go into detail before I even consider forgiveness and she just asked “why are you making me do this. This will kill us both” and I, having ZERO intentions of taking her back or forgiving her said “you’ll tell me now, or I’m leaving and never coming back”. She then told me how they met again and I said “why would you agree to work on his dog when you knew it was the guy with the big penis who I already confronted you about. And she just said he showed up and I got lost in my imagination. I said “continue”. She told me about him going down on her and I was close to vomiting. Then she told me about sleeping with him and how she instantly regretted it. I asked (not sure why I wanted the torment) what position they did it in and she said several before he came. I reiterate WHAT POSITIONS!! She said “doggie, missionary and reverse cowgirl” as I felt faint and near collapse. I asked if she gave him oral and she got real quite which told me the answer. I screamed “you don’t even like doing that for me” and she just buried her head. When I asked her about if she liked sex with him (again, torturing my myself I don’t know why… I had to know) She said (I think now, lying) that she “didn’t really even enjoy it because his penis was so big it hurt her”. That sent me into a rage (mainly because of my small penis) and I said we’re done. She literally was on her knees wrapped around my legs screaming for me to stop. I broke away and slowly walked out the door as she lie on the floor in a fetal position bawling. For weeks I couldn’t sleep, eat or work. The torment was torture and was unbearable. I would get ok for a while and then I would think about her lying naked on her back or straddling him and I would spiral into the abyss. Her breasts are massive and natural and all I could see was that POS sucking on them. Prior, no other man had ever touched her and now she broke up our marriage over an idiot stripper with a massive penis and it was about to do me in. Literally. The the only reason I didn’t let it was because of our daughters. For months she begged me to forgive her. She went out of her way to do things. A couple times she’d try and get physical and romantic. Once we even started undressing and as soon as she was naked, all I could see was that jerks big dick going in and out of her vagina and it set me off again and I stormed out, leaving her naked and crying. I wanted her to hurt. Bad. The rage and pain were unbearable. The absolute worst was thinking about his penis being in her mouth. I could never kiss those lips again. She was so desperate she told me I could revenge cheat. That disgusted me even more knowing she could be ok with that. It’s been a year and neither of us has been with anyone else. I have the urge to forgive her and then I have images of her sweaty, naked and moaning or even screaming as she “lived out her imagination and intrigue”. I think forgiving her would be like eating worms. I just can’t do it.